Women Lacking Intellect (WLI): The Enemy of the Educated Man --> PART I

In previous posts, the Sacs have undertaken an interesting (if not esoteric) approach at analyzing women who fail to comply with our lofty standards. However, no physical flaw or lack of character is as dooming as the ultimate 86-able offense: dumb women. Yes my friends, Jessica Simpson appeals to me sexually about as much as my textbook on Neurological Disorders. Fun to ride? Sure. Dangerous curves ahead? Absolutely. Service engine soon? Sigh....

Brains + beauty does not exist. As a generalization, the previous statement works. Are there exceptions to rule? Yeah sure, but poor Jews also exist...its just not the norm. In a stroke of genius (when you're supreme ruler of the cosmos, it tends to happen), God decided to bless women with either a stunning physique and visage or the ability to decipher Einstein's most obscure theories. Case study #1: "Let them eat cake... let them eat cake!" Ok look, Marie Antoinette, Louis XVII was hitting that, I understand. She was a hot, freaky, French blonde chick. Most of the dudes I know would be all up on that trying to tap tap. But you don't fucking yell sarcastic jabs at an infuriated mob that oppose your husband. Did she lose her fucking mind? In that case, just her head.... but guess who had to perish too: the man. There he was, minding his own business, trying to escape his revolution plagued country when Hillary Cli...I mean, Marie Antoinette had to go and fuck the dog. I'm betting cash that the last thing he said to her before they were both guillotined was not: "Hey babe, it's been real." I'm sure a few four letter words were amongst that highlight reel.

So ok, back to today's world. Women want to be respected in society by their male peers. They want to be seen as equals to their employers. I want a hot Brazilian sucking my dick and making me pancakes every morning, but I settle for whacking off and a Pop-Tart. You gotta settle, right? Let me first begin the rest of my treatise with this:

I LOVE SMART WOMEN. SMART WOMEN TURN ME ON.

Solid. Ok. I digress: if you are a young lady who has career goals and ambitions, amazing. It's great. It really is. I say this honestly. But WHAT THE FUCK are you doing playing beer pong with frat boys until 3 AM when you have a midterm the next day? Don't come tell me you want equality when your tits were the only things being studied last night sweetheart. Women dont capitalize on their chances. Later on, they whine about "OMGGGZ LYK WHY DIDZ I GET A F IN BUSINESS CALC?" Its 'cuz you suck. Seriously. Give up.

Now here's the kicker --> most of the aforementioned creatures are probably all hot as shit. I mean, real good looking girls with curvy bodies and fiesty attitudes that diverge from those innocent eyes that look up at you from the Headimus Givingis position (doesnt that make you feel as badass as Mr. T?). They give the best head, they fuck your brains out, they let you put your mug up, saddle up and ride and they're too wasted teh next morning to care if you call them back.

Basically, for college guys, they're ideal.

....but how about post college? How about when "good sex" no longer means "perfect relationship." How about when a guy actually wants (wait for it....) a truly "meaningful" relationship. A girl that can make you smile. A girl that can make you laugh. A girl that will hold a clear and concise and intelligent conversation with you?

Well then, fellow Saconians, then....

then you're just fucked.

{stay tuned for Part II: Why Brains + Beauty doesnt exist)